Cry Without Shame...

People Make Me Sick

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:16:24 GMT

I hate mankind sometimes,
Stop the knife crimes.

You killed a fucking bright young lad.
You cunts!

I seriously don't care about if any of you here are the stab happy people.

Bring it on cunts.

If you think killing people is funny then fuck you.

That lovely young lad that was killed was only 16,
His family had his GCSE results today

and look what SkyNews had to say...

"Murdered teenager Ben Kinsella passed his GCSEs with flying colours and would have been able to follow his dream of studying graphics, his family said.

Ben, 16, died after he was stabbed during a night out in Islington on June 29.

Today his family collected his results and said it was "devastating" that he
would not be able to go to college next month.

Ben gained two A*; three As, three Bs and a C. He was also awarded B grades in adult literacy and numeracy qualifications."

Stop KILLING EACHOTHER

FUCKING LOVE NOT HATE ><

UGH

You People make me sick ><

Gah D:

Welllll

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:36:59 GMT

Hello Livejournal

Okay,

SORRYYYY for being a douche and forgetting about LJ for last two days.

Anyway,

I've been happy-ish.

Apart from being told

1. I deserve to die
2. Im a waste of space
Etc

i was suicidal

But now I'm happy.

I'm seeing someone :)

hehehehe ^^ :D

xx Gemma xxxW

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:01:23 GMT

Good Morning Livejournal

Well, It's not really that good.

Anyway, Today even though it hasnt really gone far.
Is shit.

I'll be honest with you all right now.

I'm pretty much fed up of people backstabbing me and just shoving my friendship in their face,
Yes, I am STILL hurt from last night. Do you blame me?

I mean comeon okay,

Lets face it, I'm fucked up.

I'm afraid of sop many things,
and being touched is one of them.

Ya know, If i LET you touch me, or I TRUST you i'm okay with it.
But nOooOoOooOoOo, my fucking so called friend. SHANE got his little friends to come and take the piss outta me and touch me, HE EVEN TOUCHED ME.

I was moving away from him but he carried on!

Oh dont worry he does shit like this to me and worse all the time, but touching me when im OBVS uncomfy with it is taking it way too far.

Fuck it, I don't wanna know him.

Last night seriously opened my eyes to the truth.

I'm going to Butlins Minehead in 9 days like and im kinda looking forward to it,
Being away from this shit hole,
Making new friends,
Having fun.

That's basically gonna be my holiday for the summer,
But i don't mind.

I'll be bored all summer yes.

but..

I hate this place and i wanna break free so roll on 30th june!

You know what,
I don't care anymore,

Ive cried and contemplated killing myself enough lately,
one friends made me promise i wont do anything till my holiday at least,
so im gonna have to keep it.

but im gonna self harm my way to feeling AT ALL better...

I'm sorry im gonna go, im already crying...

x Gemma x

Cry cry cry

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 21:58:11 GMT

Dear livejournal

Today has been somewhat of a shit day...

Okay yeah, so I was in the house till 5 being bored.

Nonono, wasn't THAT shit inside..
I had MY Adam to talk to.

But I went out,
Wasn't so bad at first.

I was talking to Cobe,
About some shit, you know the past and stuff...
so he cuddled me and made me laugh.
Carried me over his shoulder with me screaming D:

SCARY AS!

But after he left me things went from okay to shit.

My so fucking called friend shane,
yeah,
got some girl that hates me and i dislike teh FUCK out of her to come near me.
TOUCHED me, all of them
ALL took piss outta me...

And why am i all angry about the touchy?

I have an intense fear of being touched.

:/

I HATE them.

I was so close to taking my life,
Cobe & Adam made me happier

then those CUNTS brought me back down.

I hate it okay.

I'm close to suicidal again.

I'm sorry...

Leave me be.

Leave me die...

:'(

xxx

Mmmmyeah

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:59:09 GMT

Dear Everybody

I don't even know what to say,

I feel nothing!!

It's nothing new for me...I've felt this way for years.

I'm in a pit of despair,
I'm never to be let out.

I actually wanna be dead,
but i want someone else to kill me.

Biting myself to shit is all I can do,

FUCK THE PROMISE...

My so fucking called best friend don't care...
He won't fucking talk to me.

I give up.

I feel worse than david looks! :(

*sigh*

LET ME GO INTO THE LOVELY AFTERLIFE FANTASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xxx Gemma xxx

What did i expect?

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:04:44 GMT

As we go on, we remember, all the times we've had together... and as our lives change, comewhatever, will we still be friends forever?

Gemma's Current Stats:

Mood: Down.. but a lil happier

Activity: Writing this

Listening to: Vitamin C - Graduation (Friends Forever)

Wishing: I weren't so alone

__________________________________________

Well, what did I expect?

Hello World,

It's Gemma, Yet Again!

Anyway, today was as OKAY dtoday.

Anyway Here's today's entry.

It's gonna be short.

I'm fed up.

Sorry today's aint creative

xxx

:heart: Love :heart:

Gemma

xxx

Fuck This Shit....

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:31:52 GMT

I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through.. I've never been perfect but neither have you..

So if you're asking me I want you to know...

When my time comes forget the wrong that i've done,
help me leave behind some reasons to be missed..
Don't resent me and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
leave out all the rest
leave out all the rest...

Forgetting, all the hurt inside
you've learnt you've had so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself..

I can't be who you are!!!!

Gemma's Current Stats:

Mood: Even more depressed =/

Activity: Writing this

Listening to: Linkin Park - Shaddow of the day

Wishing: I could be genuinely happy

__________________________________________

Why? Seriously, WHY?!

Hello there world,

Well i feel pretty fucked,

Seriously why do people feel the need to bring up my dark past?

I don't need them doing it, do they think I don't think about it every day, burning me inside more and more as each every excruciatingly painful moment passes.

Do people seriously think I'm a happy girl?!

I' NO WHERE near happy!

To be honest I HAVE contemplated taking my life a few times, But i'm fine, I won't because simply I've made a promise to my best friend, Blair McClintock.

For fuck sake,

I have no idea what to do with myself anymore.

HAH, self harm?

I only bite myself and get myself pissed so i don't feel the pain anymore.
But then again,
IT NEVER LASTS.

The goood moments of releif ALWAYS END.

It's NOT fair!

When I get happy, people tend to take it away even faster than i got the moment of happiness.

Why?

Why do this to me?

Why not just fucking hurt me yourself with pain and maybe even killing me while you're at it.

BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING DOING!!!!!

Why do people enjoy seeing me in pain?

Why?

Do people realise how much i HATE my life,
Do people realise I aint over my past!

I don't cut... Well not as often as i did a year or so back.

I don't do weird shit.. Well i do. But i'm not telling you that.

Can't people just leave me to die alone in my own corner of pain and self loathing?

Can't they just leave a girl to destroy her own life?
I mean look at me,
My lifes going to shit,
I'm going with it!!!!

Don't tell me i'm wrong though.

I'm not.

I know that my pain is real.

NON STOP reminders of my past run through my mind like a never ending video tape of the same thing over and over again!!

I can't deal with it,

But i don't want professional help.

I need MY OWN HELP.

ME AND MY SELF HELP BOOKS ARE HAPPY TOGETHER.

Don't take them away from me....

I NEED THEM TO SURVIIVE.

Psychs are not worth the time and effort,
I'll never talk to them.

Why?
I don't trust them,
They DO judge you,
trust me.

FUCK THIS!

I can't deal with the pain... I need a drink...

i'll post another blog tomorrow.

Maybe i'll feel a bit better.

---

Take care, best wishes...

Gemma

xxx

GenerallyGemma Is the PERMANENT companion!Fuck

First One, Hello!

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:01:44 GMT

Gemma's Current Stats:

Mood: Pretty Damn Depressed

Activity: Writing this Journal

Listening to: Linking park: Leave out all the rest

Wishing: I weren't so messed up inside...

__________________________________________

General Stuff

Hello World,

It's Gemma, your usual misfit.

Well here I am today basically to introduce my crappy self and just re-join the world of livejournal.

Why?

Because I really need to express mysself before I end up ending everything.

Anyway This my layout. I hope you like.

Oh by the way, wnana know about me? Check my Profile. It has everything You need to know about me!

:D Remember :D

David Tennant, isn't just a man, He's a lonely God :D (And a very sexy one at that)

I’m here to stay, so make no wrong move!

Fuck you haters, fuck you enemies I'm GenerallyGemma, and I guess I'm AwesomelyAwesome as well!!

~~~

<3 Love <3

Gemma

xxx

GenerallyGemma Is the PERMANENT companion!